Grief defined in the dictionary as “intense sorrow, especially caused by someone’s death”.
And boy is the intense part right. Grieving is the uninvited family member at the party, popping up when you least expect them, and reminding you just how desperately you wish they weren’t there.
It hits when your quiet and alone, when your singing a song, driving to uni or eating your breakfast. Sometimes it hits when your running or reading or doing something desperately to turn your brain off.
Grief comes in many forms, sadness, anger and laughter to name a few. You find yourself laughing over the stupid thing you did and how much they would be laughing at you, or crying when there favourite song plays on the radio. You find yourself wanting to scream at the world because they are continuing as if nothing ever happened.
There’s no way to make it easier, to turn it off. But each time it hits you, you find yourself learning to deal with it a little better. You might not see it but you are.
Grieving is complicated. It’s painful. And it sucks, and if I told you any different I would be lying.
But there are people, places and methods to support you. No matter who you are, or who you have lost. There is always someone willing to hold your hand.
So I guess whilst I can’t tell you how to “fix” this, all I can say is reach out your hand and let people guide and support you.
You are not alone.