Lucy

Millennials - Why There Isn't Anything Wrong With This Generation

Personally I do not believe we are the failed generation. I do not think think, as a collective, that we are lazy and self-entitled. We are not narcissistic. Don’t get me wrong, there will be narcissistic millennials but there are also many narcissists from the older generations.
I think that they are the problem.
They judge us.
They put us down they tell us we don’t work hard enough.
They call us lazy and self entitled.
We are not those things. Instead we work hard but know what we are worth. We will not work for free and we will not sit in silence and let the older generation say horrible things about us. We were born and raised in times filled with economic uncertainty.
1 in 10 young people suffer from a mental illness.
Supposedly 1 in 4 young women suffer from a mental health issue at some point.
Today’s teenagers are expected to do twice as much homework as their parents.
20% of young people see their  parents spilt up which has hugely grown since our parents were younger.
So no, we are not lazy. We are stressed and it is not always our fault.
Aside from this we are an amazing generation.
25 years ago only 1/3 of people accepted same sex marriage. It is now 2/3.
We are more accepting.
Today’s teenagers are more sober.
Teen pregnancies are at an all time low.
Phone use is found to stop people taking dangerous risks in the real world.

This message is to all of the older generation who are criticising us (which I would like to point out that it definitely isn’t all of them), who are lazy, who are hypocritical, who are homophobic and transphobic and who think technology is evil.

- A fabulous millennial

 
 

Why I'm Not A Failure

I’m not really sure what I wanted to write but something I think about a lot is how much we think we’ve failed. Maybe it’s just me. Maybe it’s every person. But personally on a daily basis I think I’ve screwed up. Sometimes generally, sometimes in an exam and sometimes on one particular day.

But I’ve come to realise that I’ve worked hard to be where I am, and I have tried damn hard. Every day I try to do my best and I go to bed dissatisfied with what I’ve achieved. Which made me realise, I don’t need to try harder, I need to see that whatever I achieve is my best and that’s ok.

So I’m not a failure. When I don’t do as well in a test that I revised for, that means it was hard, not that I didn’t try. When I haven’t ticked everything off my to do list because I was tired, I’ve been working too hard.

I can assure you if you ask anybody they will tell you I do not work too hard. Most people would probably tell you I don’t work hard enough and that I am lazy. But that’s not their place to judge. Only I can tell what is my limit and how hard I can work. What is hard for you may be impossible for me. What I find easy may push you to your limit. So I’ve come to the conclusion that nobody should judge if I’ve failed or not and that I should not punish myself for not being as “amazing” as other people. Finding things difficult is allowed. That doesn’t make you a failure.

So this isn’t about something I need to improve on. This is about not needing to improve and being good enough already.

 
 

New Year, Not So New Me

So this new year, I made resolutions. But they were a little different. I just wanted to be happy and healthy and appreciate things more.

Something’s I haven’t managed to change. In some ways I’m slowly improving, but the most important thing I know is that this year can be amazing and I’m going to do amazing things and be an amazing person.

I didn’t want to set strict goals because that is completely restricting and demotivating. I don’t see the point in making resolutions when you KNOW you’re going to fail them in the first 3 days. So maybe I’ve eaten 400(ish) chicken nuggets since new year and 3 tubs of Ben and jerrys. But that’s ok because I’m happier and as long as I see myself in the right light it’s ok. I think this year it is about balance. I should have a plan and not have irregular patterns for everything I do but I shouldn’t be so hard on myself.

Also I’d like to get out more. Say yes to more things, but if it’s going to make me extremely anxious, it’s probably not worth it.

I wanted to write this blog far into January because I wanted a clear view of how this year is going to be. So far it’s a little bit foggy and I’m a little unsure. But it’s not scary fog. It’s more like fluffy clouds blocking my vision. But I can always see 1000m into the future (wow that was a bad metaphor I’m gonna go now).

For what it’s worth, it’s never too late to be whoever you want to be. I hope you love a life you are proud of. And if you find that you are not, I hope you have the strength to start over.

Self-Worth

I wanted to talk about something that’s very important to me: self worth. The quote that I think best represents what I want to say is “we accept the love we think we deserve”. This quote is from The Perks Of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky. I took it to mean that the reason you let people come into your life is because you think you are worthy of them. It can be friends or partners. If people think they are worth much less than a friend they will start to pull away. If you think somebody is so much cooler than you, your immediate response is “I could never be friends with them”. But it’s all about self worth.

I think it’s all about remembering that people wouldn’t want to spend time with you if you weren’t amazing and just because you can’t see your best qualities, that doesn’t mean somebody else won’t love them. Sometimes if you find an amazing friend(s) then it can be hard to think you deserve them. But you do! And if there’s somebody in your life who isn’t treating you well, you don’t deserve that. If somebody is making you feel worthless or miserable, it may be hard, but you need to cut them out of your life. Which is easier said than done. It is especially hard if you have known them for years or were previously really close to you. Pulling away doesn’t mean that you can’t still be happy about the friendship that you had. But if it’s developing into something more negative than positive, it’s not worth it.

Just remember this:if somebody tries to include you, they want to. They don’t have to. They could completely ignore you and make other friends. You need to value your friends, but also value yourself. Believe that there are people that will love you for you, because there are! And it’s worth taking the time to find those people. 

 
 

Independence Isn't Everything

Appreciating the people around me is one of the most important things. However strong and independent you are, you can’t be truly happy without friends and family. I’ve learnt (and am still learning)  to remind my loved ones how much they help me in my everyday life; it is okay to need help. I wouldn’t be able to do the things I do without support. However strong anybody thinks I am, I am only in this position because of them.

What I wanted to write this blog about is having a strong support network. My family and friends are my main point of motivation and without them I wouldn’t want to get out of bed every morning. They are there to help me if I let them. It is all about letting people in when you are struggling or have a problem. Why go through it by yourself if there are a billion people willing to help you? Maybe you think they have enough going on but I’ve found that I always have time to help the people I care about.

Sometimes people say that they can do everything all by themselves, and maybe some people are better at independence than me, but I think everybody needs a helping hand sometimes. I admit that many get more independent or are generally quite good at doing things without help, but that mindset can also be bad for people who struggle with independence and responsibilities. You should always feel comfortable about being  able to reach out to some one.

For example, me and Lauren. Whether one of us needs cheering up with a few hilarious GIFs and memes or a harsh (but much needed) piece of advice, we are always there for each other. Helping someone doesn’t always need to be a serious conversation, sometimes it is just a little reminder them that you are thinking about them.

It is good to remember, help works both ways, whether it is a friend who never listens to your problems, or forgetting to be considerate about somebody’s feelings. The best friendships come from both sides.

Also, I think people are a little oblivious to the ones that care the most. So I want to end with: asking for help is the hardest thing, but it will be worth it.

 
 

Procrastination

Yes. I am a procrastinator. It means I never get things that need doing done. I wait till the last possible moment to do anything I need to do. It is how I have been for as long as I can remember. I will do anything to avoid a certain thing and even when I start that thing, it will take we 2 hours instead of the 10 minutes it should have. I get distracted very easily. I’m not going to lie, I am procrastinating while writing this blog. I should be doing chemistry, biology, Spanish, German and textiles, but I’m not.

I say all this, but there are some ways that help me get things done:

  1. Reward myself with Netflix-Every piece of work I do, however big or small, I get to watch an episode of whatever I want. Usually it’s 90210 (Lauren’s a big fan of Pretty Little Liars).
  2. Convince myself that it won’t be as hard as I think-This sounds like a simple one but sometimes I get so flustered and overwhelmed about how much work I have to do I get myself into a state which means I can’t do any work. I always need to be in the right mind-set.
  3. Think about how much more I’ll enjoy the thing that I’m doing if I don’t have the guilt of work or tasks looming over me. Watching Netflix with no work to do is a lot more enjoyable than having 7 pieces of homework due in for tomorrow.
  4. Don’t agree to do too many things that aren’t necessary. Extra curricular activities are good but you need time to do work and have down time. Committing yourself to lots of things is not going to help time management.

I hope some of these could be useful to you!

 
 

#WorldMentalHealthDay

On the 10th of October it was World Mental Health Day. I went around telling anybody who would listen, and I was deeply unimpressed by the response. People really didn’t care? I realised that in a way, I lived in my own little world where everybody cared about the issues I did. Then again, I bet almost everybody has, or knows somebody with, a mental illness; even if they don’t, everybody has a mental health. We should look after our mental health just like we do our physical health: check-ups, immediate appointments and regular conversations about it. As I often get told “if you broke your arm, would you just deny help and say it’s fine?” The answer is no, and mental health should be treated the same. The stigmas surrounding mental health create this sense that mental illnesses should not be talked about, and that it is a taboo subject. We need to change this because it makes it harder for people to ask for help or feel comfortable sharing their feelings. For example, you would find it much easier to tell a friend you had a cold, as opposed to feeling a bit down.

Here are some facts from the Mental Health Foundation:

  • One in four people will experience a mental health problem at some point in their lives.
  • Around one in ten children experience mental health problems.
  • Depression affects around one in 12 of the whole population.
  • 450 million people world-wide have a mental health problem.

As you can see, you don’t need to take my word for it. We need change! People need to know that it’s okay to struggle. It’s okay to need help. That doesn’t mean your strange or odd. As you can see, so many people all over the world struggle with mental illnesses and even if you don’t have a clinical mental health problem that doesn’t mean you have to be okay all the time. You can still have bad days and you don’t need to apologise or say you’re fine all the time.

There should be more accessible services and more funding from the government. It should not be, “you are not ill enough yet to have an appointment” or a 2 year waiting list. I think we’re making progress. We’re moving forward. Mental Illness is becoming easier to talk about. I hope we look back in a few years (or even months) and see how much progress we have made.

 
 

A Bit About Us

We are Lauren and Lucy, two girls who have quite a lot in common. We decided to start this blog because we decided we’ve learnt some valuable lessons (this usually comes from doing something stupid or having no common sense). Although we have valuable things to tell the world, while we do this blog, hopefully we will learn  much more. We will blog about lots of things which I hope you’ll enjoy. This is our little corner of the internet where we can be and do whatever we want. This is how we will share our journey, and hopefully it should be… interesting.