The months have whizzed past, the days added up and suddenly I find myself in second semester. Thinking back to the day I decided to leave York seems like it was in another universe. Here I am, doing uni the unconventional way, and learning more about myself everyday.
That’s not to say I don’t sometimes wonder what life would be like if I had stayed. I see pictures of the gorgeous girls I rowed with succeeding and wonder whether I would have been happier if I was with them. I hear from my flat, watch there snapchat stories and miss the few but great memories that I made with them.
And then the next day, I get up go to uni and fall back in love with Manchester again.
I walk around the campus and see something I hadn’t noticed the day before. I text Lucy and arrange to see her and realize how lucky I am to be close to someone that brings out the best in me. I get a text from Katie telling me she will be home that weekend, and I smile. And then I walk into a lecture see a flash of pink hair, and walk over to sit with the two beautiful girls I am so happy to have met. Later, I get in my car and whizz round to rowing, in a place that feels like a second home with people who feel like another family, and a crazy girl who can always make me laugh.
And at the end of the day, I get to go to one house or the other and be met with whatever drama is going on, ordered by my brother to get him a McDonalds or covered in licks by a certain puppy. But its ok, because it’s my family, its where I belong and I wouldn’t change it for the world.
So yes, I might not be living in halls drinking every night and having the time of my life. But I’m making memories, having unforgettable moments and looking after me.
I’m getting back into politics, doing the things I love and taking part in so many amazing opportunities. I’m rowing. I’m reading. I’m talking to the people I love. I’m miraculously acing my exams. I’m missing my friends. I’m making new friends. I’m reconnecting with my old friends. I’m laughing and crying. I’m living.
If you had asked me back in sixth form whether I would still be living at home and going to the uni where my parents work I would have laughed. But today, I know that the future is never how you plan it and sometimes you have to take life, one day at a time.
I now know I didn’t fail; I know that the decision I took was for me. And for that, I am proud.