Embrace the glorious mess that you are

“a year ago I would never have pictured my life the way it is now’

There’s so many times this quote has cropped up on my instagram, twitter or Facebook, i give it a like or a share and nod along in agreement at the rapid pace at which life is evolving around me. However when this came up the other day, it made me stop and think.

The past year has been one of the busiest, happiest, saddest, craziest and most confusing years of my 19 year long life. Ive not only been to 2 universities but I have lived in 4 houses, and embarked on may new adventures. 

Every single thing I have done this year has taught me a lesson, and although some of these were incredibly hard (loosing friends, moving uni, etc) they have all played a huge part in the person I am becoming today. 

Recently, Ive been finding the confidence to be more myself. Ive been embracing the life that I have, and the views I have to share with the world. Theres a part of me thats still overly worries what people will think but theres also a strong voice in me desperate to get out and make a change. 

But who am i and what do I want to do with my life? 

My honest answer, Im not quite sure. That used to scare me a lot, I’m now excited to see where life takes me. If the past months have taught me anything its to take one day at a time.

So where am i now?

Im excited to buy and style new outfits that I love, regardless of what others think about my ‘fashion’ sense. 

I can’t wait to continue to share my view on politics and mental health and other important issues happening in our crazy world. 

Learning to be me has let me grow in a brand new way totally unlike the past. 

Ive learnt to accept university is what it is, choosing modules that interest me and not worrying about the little things like having no-one to sit with in a lecture. Ive also been trying harder to make, and keep friends from university rather than letting my anxiety of talking to new people take over. 

Ive set up my own charity (https://www.youthmentalhealthmatters.net), been bugging the hell out of important decision makers(sorry Andy) to make a changeand have been telling my story and honestly I have felt more me than ever before. 

The charity has really let me flourish. Its built my confidence, led me to incredible friends and support, and inspired a mini fire inside me ready to take on the worlds shitty mental health services, one day at a time. Working on the charity brings a different kind of warmth and happiness to me that I have learnt nothing can replace. 

Learning to leave some people in the past, and love those who love me, has also been a major lesson over the last year. Ive learnt to spend time with those who make me happiest, regardless of what others think. 

And then of course there is rowing, a place I am constantly pushed to be the best I can be but supported by the most amazing coach and best friend. Im improving, slowly but steadily and Im learning to believe and have patience (something which is proving difficult).

So yes, life has changed in ways I would never expect. A year has gone by in the blink of an eye. But Ive done so many things, met so many people, and I hope began to inspire others too. I'm learning to embrace the wonderful mess that I am, and remember that every step along this journey as a lesson to build me for whats to come.

Life is getting busier by the day, crazier by the minute yet amongst all this chaos I am slowly finding myself and becoming who I want to be.